Never-Stopped Change in Life, Evil?

Life sucks? Sure, sometimes it does. Or for some people, most of the times. I don’t know if it is true that there are these places, where being poor is not a fatal threat. What I do know is, lack of money is ruthless bitch, in every society I lived/am living in. Self-instability and financial dependence on parents, who are also in the same crisis, is shameful.
Earn a livelihood? Never thought this would hit me so hard like it did today.
Why do people has to live in this way? Why can’t they just be like birds? why do they have to love, have to cry? it’s already spring, but it is still so cold? What happened to the regular four seasons? No snow in winter, no warmth in spring.

天鹅,虽然美丽,但却冷漠,愚蠢,甚至暴力。他们聚集在一起,却仍独自等待食物被抛到她们嘴中。几只鸭子夹在天鹅群里,跟他们争抢食物。天鹅们互相用嘴钳着对方,驱赶着对方。灰鸽子在争抢撒在岸上的面包屑。海鸥也加入了。what does it cost to make them behave so stupid like this? it is the ultimate aim of survival. maybe being stupid or not matter to them at all. only one thing matters and one thing only.bei der Alster 1

Game on. No backsies.

The biggest challenge is always the greatest fear.

I always tell myself I enjoy being on the road. Showing bravery to the others is no doubt a way to calm myself. When fear overwhelms, to escape is the only thing that pops into one’s head. It is a time when people crawl back into their comfort zone. Well, most of them. But some would not. Giving up is easy, keeping faith is hard. Uncertainty of not acquiring something you really want is terrifying, but you should better remember “a dream realised is no longer a dream. Happiness possessed is no longer happiness pursued.”

bei der Alster 2

 

就算是残酷又如何?高傲又如何?人类不喜欢又怎样?天鹅还是天鹅,海鸥仍是海鸥。生存第一,没有第二。这就是自然,这才是人类的本能。

曾经考虑过植物人与植物的区别。植物人到底有没有意识的存在,这一点还是不清楚。但是他们没有基本的生存意识,只是新陈代谢还在进行。人们把他们叫做“植物人”是因为他们不动,就像植物一样。但是却忽略了植物却是有很强的生存意识的。这并不只是一般意义上的“意识”,亦或是“思想”的定义。而是一种向往生存的极度追求,这是自然界中一切生命的终极目标。

现实很残酷,也很矛盾。《小公主》告诉人们在没有物质生活或者物质生活极度匮乏的时候还是要保持精神的崇高,而现实主义教诲人们,生存第一是一切的法则,最基本的法则。所以一切为了生存做出的事情都是可以被原谅的,可以被理解的。很多人说,若是想要成功,就不要去看别人的眼光,不要在乎自己在别人眼中的形象;也有人说,不要让别人失望,如果这对你很重要的话。有的时候真的想要放弃思考这件事情。因为翻来覆去都是没有结果的争执。谁都有谁的道理,谁都有谁的难处。不同的环境和情况之下,同样的事情发生了会有完全不同的结果。这不仅仅是当事人的意识形态决定的。这不是任何一个独立因素决定的。世界多复杂,人性多复杂。

失望是有的。甚至绝望也有。但是还是放不下思考这件事。困难是有的,挑战是看待困难的另一个角度。在我的路上,我只能这样坚持。没有别的选择。所以,生活的变化就是最大的惊喜与挑战的合体。享受吧!

Tales of Cities – Wandering Begins

some say, it’s pointless to compare cities. different histories shape each city in different ways. but junior high school geography tells us, so does our own experience, cities appear mostly along rivers, where great civilisation were built up.  humans need to cultivate with water, since survival has always been the ultimate factor for any species. what else? massive group of people tend to settle themselves at relatively plat area — if it is somewhere among the mountains, they live in a valley. some principles like these can be probably applied to most of cities in the world, while they are still different for reasons. it is these reasons that make the comparison possible, and also, make the cities carry distinguished beauties.

Paris, France

being on the road. visiting cities. nature is beautiful. no one is empowered to doubt what nature stands for. but as humans, what we made within nature, and beyond it, is what truly amazing and worth sincere appreciation. cities, concentrating humanity, merciful or sinful, stand for what humans are capable of, and what humans really are.

a short visit to a place always fails to present the most of it because of limited time and lack of overall experience. what we can do to make the best out of it is simply hear stories about the city, the stories of the people who live there. and, by looking, closely, we can tell more than we imagine.

people are pretty. too simply expressed but it is somehow true. people are worth of love, being loved and loving others. although sometimes they are cruel, stupid, blind-minded, selfish and mean, when you view them as a whole, you can’t be mad at them anymore. when you see love and kindness shine upon the ruins of human grace, hope stands still, strong as stone.

Hamburg, Germany

urbanisation once drove the mass who used to live in the fields generations after generations from lands to the big industrialised, modernistic centres. nowadays, some start to flee back to the rural area and go back to the embrace of nature. cities are described as monsters that ruin people’s lives by destructing their health, physically and mentally. it is true. but changes are also leading to a promising future. preservation of history in cities as in preserving blood in human’s vein; keeping botanic gardens and trees alive to tell humans — don’t forget that you’re never alone. i am not able to find a reason to leave the towns and cities for good, to only appreciate nothing but birds singing and wild flowers, since i know, for me, once a while, relaxation in the arm of mother nature is vital, but to know that I’m able to do something with my “useless” mind is even of much more importance, which is always possible, in somewhere a corner, in a city.

Stuttgart, Germany

like every person, every city has its own personality. getting to know a place is like befriending with a person. you approach to her, greet to her, and hopefully, she greets back. maybe you’ve heard of this for several times, that if you want someone to start to like you, the first and most important thing is to be a good listener. so you ask about her stories. she tells you what she likes. then you comment on it with some of your relating experience and, importantly, with open-minded and nice smile. if you have time, to live at a same place as she does, more time and chances are available for you to know her even better; if not, she becomes part of your journey, a part of the lovely memory.

Barcelona, Spain

every one of us is a traveler, alone on the road. we come across each other, spend time together, through the good and/or the bad, then farewell and take care. and then, move on. when you meet a city, the best way is always walking on  the streets, looking up the buildings, watching people’s interactions, tasting the local cuisine, and ideally, listening to stories from the locals.

Amsterdam, Netherlands

cities do not fall. dynasties sink and rise but cities are always there. what is also forever holding up there is what created cities. minds leave traces in the cities where they passed by, in parks, libraries, schools, even public bathroom walls. modernity passed its prime but it’s still speaking out. With the least of rationalistic influence, I would say, cities stand for what humans are capable of, and again, good or evil.

City Hall, Aachengetting to know someone else and looking at the mirror. let the journey begin.

On the Way to Hamburg

Encountering very nice people is one of my favourite thing on the road. I don’t know if my staying in Germany also applies to the theme “road trip”, like Thelma and Louise. I just know, I like to be on the way, when meeting strangers with the most beautiful smile.

Sitting on the train. Outside of the window, sometimes sunny, sometimes rainy.

on the way to hamburg 1 on the way to hamburg 2 on the way to hamburg 3

The ticket controller approached. He was wearing square, black-framed glasses, tall, with some typical german beer belly and a small nose. He appeared to be nice, because of the smile always on his face, sometimes laughter, when talking to passengers.

I told him, “Sorry that i still need a ticket from Goettingen to Hamburg, I had no time to buy it…”

I wanted to ask, if it’s possible to buy it here. Normally it works.

He smiled, said, “Ok, I will come back to you later.”

Then for a long time, he didn’t come. Maybe he forgot? Or he did not understand what I said? He must come back and check the other people’s tickets that just came aboard the train. I can wait.

He came back, seeming not remember what i asked him.

So I asked again, “Sorry, can i do it now?”

He said yes. Smiled.

“To Hamburg main station?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm, student life, huh? Stressful. Then he came to me a bit closer, said, I give you from Hannover.” Smiled.

That was more than ten euros cheaper than from Goettingen.

“Wow thank you. Yeah. Thank you that you could understand.”

“Well, when you receive you doctor degree, you can just invite me for a coffee.” Smiled, looking at me. He gave me the ticket, I gave him the money.

“Of course I will do that.” I smiled back.

“Have a good day.”

“Thank you, you too.”

 

I will remember this. I will remember him, this sunshine came to my heart when everything was grey and filled with uncertainty.

My career stuck in instability. Financially I was experiencing the biggest crisis of my life. But he came to me, with his understanding and smile, told me, no need to thank me for this little favour, just invite me for a coffee, when you get your doctor degree — when you achieve your dream.

I heard him telling me, you can do it. No matter how unsatisfying right now, it’s going to be ok. Why? Because after you did it, you will invite me for coffee.

Lighted up the greyest part of my heart. On that cloudy, rainy day.

 

It’s amazing how powerful a small nice thing by a stranger is, isn’t it? But on the other hand, whatever the same things told by the closest people around me, they are simply not so much believable to me. Because they are easily sugar-coded by love. The ticket checker definitely did not say these nice things about my study on purpose, but it was precise, right at the point. Although, maybe he did not really think so because he had no idea how I was at study, the outcome was simple — i felt appreciated, recognised, and thankful. Thankful to these nice little things on my way, I know, it will always work out.