Month: May 2020

I hate waiting. You know what I mean.

Well, maybe not exactly.

I hate passive waiting.

Passively waiting – especially when you have to – means you are dependent on what’s out of your control. Waiting for your friend on the street to go to a movie together. Waiting for the train to come. Waiting for the end of a deadly boring meeting.

I don’t want to. But I have to. Because I want to get to the end of that waiting, for there’s going to be something else I really want.

Time slows down when you count it, when you watch it.

I can pass through the waiting time somehow, by reading a Blinkist book, listening to Podcasts, or counting red cars/dogs/how many times I think about “OMG”…

These things may make me feel better. But they don’t stop me from hating passive waiting.

I do like active waiting though.

It’s not really “expecting”. That would mean that you know what’s coming.

But actively waiting for something means for me like this:

You prepare for it. You work for it. You are conscious about your choices and steps.

You hope for something good to happen by the end of the waiting time. But you know so well that it might not turn out to be how you want it to be.

The best part?

It’s ok anyway.

Why?

Because you enjoy working for it.

Your joy comes from doing, despite the current situation where you are in is not great, you are still full of joy.

Even if you are soaked in difficult things around you, or pain in your heart, you know there’s an end to all of that.

There IS an end on the other side of the tunnel. You KNOW it.

But you actively working on making the light at the end come faster, and shine brighter.

That’s the active waiting I like. And I’m doing it right now.