I have been being with Baby Fei every day since she was born. The longest time we were away from each other was about ten hours. And it was just one time and a long while ago.

We spent the most of our waking time together. And in a few days, she’s going to Day Care.

I know it’s good for her, and good for me, too. She needs (and wants) to start socialising with other children and adults; I urgently want my time back for my own work and well-being…

But it’s so hard. Thinking about it. I’ve been missing having my work, doing workout, writing on schedule, and painting.

I wonder if I will miss her more.

But these are not what I want to say here.

What I really want to write here is this:

“Being” is the natural way, the most long-lasting way.

Simply “being” feels right. There’s no need to persuade, to force, to fight.

Nobody needs to be convinced, to be moved, to be influenced.

I used to think “let it develop naturally” was a lazy move for people who wouldn’t dare to fight for what’s right.

Now I realised the natural way is the most powerful, most enduring.

Like a mother’s love for her child.

I wouldn’t call this love self-less though.

I must admit, I feel that it’s the most selfish love I’ve had in my life.

Because loving her makes me so happy. How is it not selfish to love?