Don’t postpone living

We think that we need a change of scenery, for some reason. 

I didn’t grow up with the idea of “going on holidays”. Being away to travel was a luxury. It’s a luxury to take time off, to go somewhere else and look at some touristy stuff, to not be working. 

My mother didn’t get the chance to do any of that.

For her, “the good life awaits in the future”. That was her life motto. But she never thought she had to leave before that future.

Just right before that future.

She wasn’t suffering in her working day-to-day. But she postponed joy. Actively avoided it. She had to rationalise the things she enjoyed, as if she used it more today there won’t be enough for her tomorrow, or next year, or ten years later. 

Now I’m here. On my second holiday away with my husband and baby daughter, I keep thinking about my mom. How she thought her life could finally start when she retired and when I start to make a living by myself. 

She didn’t get to see much of the world. She thought she didn’t have the choice, or the control.

She never went traveling alone. She was afraid of being alone. But in the end, she had to leave alone. Like we all will.

But the best ones always leave early.

Thanks to my parents, I started traveling by myself early in life. And I don’t plan to stop, even though now I will take care of a baby full-time. 

I will travel the world with her. And tell her that life has hope for the future, but is happening right now.

You are a bucket of water from the sea

“Babies are all born as a blank paper.”

Well, we’ve got proof now that it’s wrong.

How are person is since birth, and how she/he is becoming after that, is a combined effect from both nature and nurture.

Does it mean that we are born “as papers already have something written on them?”

I don’t resonate with this metaphor. I think how we are is more dynamic and multidimensional than drawings on paper.

Like… a glass of water. Or a bucket, a cup, or a bathtub of water… Pick your own container.


In her book Untamed, Glennon Doyle said to her daughter that we are buckets of water who came from the sea. We were one. You were in me and I was in you. We are going to be one again someday.

I can’t remember how exactly she said it. But that metaphor stuck in my head.

“But, what’s the point?” I hear me asking myself.

“What’s the point of being in a bucket just to be later poured back into where I came from?”


We are not born with a purpose. We are born with the things we are naturally capable of.

Just like water. We are similar in many ways — even the same in most ways. But there are many, many ways can water be used. 

There are many, many different paths for water to find its way back to the ocean, where it came from.

The purpose is not to go back to where it came from.

The purpose is the journey, the circulation, the individual path to get to the start and endpoint.

For most of us on this earth, we are not born to be who we are. In which family we are born, on our physical features are, in which area or community we are born into… none of these things say who WE are. 

Because from that moment on, all we do is “becoming”.

Becoming who we are — something we can say, not as a static but a changing definition, that only holds true at the point of our lives when we are looking back.

And especially, at the moment when we get to go back to where it all started.

Like water, with every step forward, it becomes a little different than before. It’s always “becoming”.

Water can be anywhere. Even the desert has a certain amount of water somewhere in its air or way deep down its ground.

Where do you wanna be? Where do you wanna go?

What path would you choose?

Standing where you are, how do you want to define yourself at this moment?

And what do you want your inner water to be “becoming”?


Take a moment to look around.

Where is your water right now?

Which path is it on?

Tales of Cities – Wandering Begins

some say, it’s pointless to compare cities. different histories shape each city in different ways. but junior high school geography tells us, so does our own experience, cities appear mostly along rivers, where great civilisation were built up.  humans need to cultivate with water, since survival has always been the ultimate factor for any species. what else? massive group of people tend to settle themselves at relatively plat area — if it is somewhere among the mountains, they live in a valley. some principles like these can be probably applied to most of cities in the world, while they are still different for reasons. it is these reasons that make the comparison possible, and also, make the cities carry distinguished beauties.

Paris, France

being on the road. visiting cities. nature is beautiful. no one is empowered to doubt what nature stands for. but as humans, what we made within nature, and beyond it, is what truly amazing and worth sincere appreciation. cities, concentrating humanity, merciful or sinful, stand for what humans are capable of, and what humans really are.

a short visit to a place always fails to present the most of it because of limited time and lack of overall experience. what we can do to make the best out of it is simply hear stories about the city, the stories of the people who live there. and, by looking, closely, we can tell more than we imagine.

people are pretty. too simply expressed but it is somehow true. people are worth of love, being loved and loving others. although sometimes they are cruel, stupid, blind-minded, selfish and mean, when you view them as a whole, you can’t be mad at them anymore. when you see love and kindness shine upon the ruins of human grace, hope stands still, strong as stone.

Hamburg, Germany

urbanisation once drove the mass who used to live in the fields generations after generations from lands to the big industrialised, modernistic centres. nowadays, some start to flee back to the rural area and go back to the embrace of nature. cities are described as monsters that ruin people’s lives by destructing their health, physically and mentally. it is true. but changes are also leading to a promising future. preservation of history in cities as in preserving blood in human’s vein; keeping botanic gardens and trees alive to tell humans — don’t forget that you’re never alone. i am not able to find a reason to leave the towns and cities for good, to only appreciate nothing but birds singing and wild flowers, since i know, for me, once a while, relaxation in the arm of mother nature is vital, but to know that I’m able to do something with my “useless” mind is even of much more importance, which is always possible, in somewhere a corner, in a city.

Stuttgart, Germany

like every person, every city has its own personality. getting to know a place is like befriending with a person. you approach to her, greet to her, and hopefully, she greets back. maybe you’ve heard of this for several times, that if you want someone to start to like you, the first and most important thing is to be a good listener. so you ask about her stories. she tells you what she likes. then you comment on it with some of your relating experience and, importantly, with open-minded and nice smile. if you have time, to live at a same place as she does, more time and chances are available for you to know her even better; if not, she becomes part of your journey, a part of the lovely memory.

Barcelona, Spain

every one of us is a traveler, alone on the road. we come across each other, spend time together, through the good and/or the bad, then farewell and take care. and then, move on. when you meet a city, the best way is always walking on  the streets, looking up the buildings, watching people’s interactions, tasting the local cuisine, and ideally, listening to stories from the locals.

Amsterdam, Netherlands

cities do not fall. dynasties sink and rise but cities are always there. what is also forever holding up there is what created cities. minds leave traces in the cities where they passed by, in parks, libraries, schools, even public bathroom walls. modernity passed its prime but it’s still speaking out. With the least of rationalistic influence, I would say, cities stand for what humans are capable of, and again, good or evil.

City Hall, Aachengetting to know someone else and looking at the mirror. let the journey begin.