The bottom line

What’s my bottom line for 2022?

I hope it’s not too pessimistic to talk about my “bottom line” — the lowest hope for this year on the 5th day of January.

2021 was a good year. It started very low, but then it picked up.

I have a lot planned for this new year. After all that happened in my life and the world around me, I’m grateful and content, and wishing to experience this life and this world in some other ways.

That’s what my plans is about.

But what if it gets chaotic again and something comes up that disrupts these plans?

I need a bottom line.

And I’ve got one.

I just don’t want to relive my life in 2020 again.

I spent the whole year in one city, working on my job from home, therefore trapped in an apartment.

I spoke to three people — three same people — every day.

I went on walks along the same route, every day.

It was nice at first. No distraction. I found peace in repetition of things.

Then after 6, 7, 8 months, it started to drag me downwards, day by day.

While other people still traveling, I stayed at home. For my own protection, also for others. Because I didn’t want to be the person who spreads the virus to others.

I have close family living far away. I never visited them again.

Now with the protection of vaccines, and the rising percentage of people who got multiple vaccinations, I’m feeling much more secure, and confident that we’ve ought to learn to live with this current situation.

Yes, “live with” it.

Life goes on, even with what’s happening out there.

Living should not stop.

The “pause” you hit on your life — if you want to wait the pandemic out hiding behind your walls — doesn’t stop the time. The time of your life.

I’ve waited in 2020. That was the right decision. And I stand by it.

I’ve made the best out of 2021.

Now it’s 2022. I won’t relive 2020.

I will keep protecting myself, my family and others.

I will keep experiencing life.

I will keep exploring the world.

If things don’t go as how you planned, what’s your bottom line for 2022?


Inspiration Vault: Rewatching old films = wasting time?

I rewatch the Harry Potter films almost every two years.

During this Christmas break, my family and I started to watch them again. I still don’t like the plot where Ginny and Harry become a couple. I don’t see the chemistry. It was all sudden. And the character Ginny barely showed other facial expression than Poker Face. (Might be a bit harsh to say so. But I can’t find a way to describe it otherwise…)

But this time I realised how the films intended to portray Ginny as a very strong woman and a powerful witch. That was quite satisfying to see.

Anyway… enough with my latest HP film thoughts…

I was wondering, why is it that I like to watch something again and again?

I used to do that very often with films I like. Not to mention I’ve watched Friends for what feels like millions of times. 

Isn’t that just wasting time? What’s the point of doing such things? 

Yes, it is relaxing to watch familiar things. You know roughly what’s going to happen. So there won’t be surprises. There’s only the satisfaction to be able to “foresee” things.

But there’s also the thrill in case we find any detail that we missed the previous times when we watched it.

And, we might come to some new understanding about certain plot and characters with each new watching time.

We are not who we were when we first watched them. 

We watch the old stuff again and again because we feel connect to them. We feel connected to our old selves. 

We revisit them, remember them. Remembering who we were, and reflecting on who we are today.

Rewatching films like the Harry Potter series and the Star Wars series is less than an entertainment, but a ritual. Especially for those of us who watched them in our childhood.

Resonating much with us, these characters shaped who we are in the first place, in the time when our own world view was built. The experience of watching these popular films as a shared experience with others around the world, across generations, is how we bound with others, and feel belonged.

Revisiting the films as a form of strengthening connections with our younger selves and with others around us, is by no means a simple “waste of time”.

You need to stop failing

Photo by Liza Summer on

Your small, frequent failures are annoying. And they are similar to each other.

Well, you know that.

Why does your failure always come back?

The frustrating sense of you not meeting your own expectation.

The reasons are always the same: you can’t get up early in the morning every day, you don’t go to the gym regularly… you can’t get your butt on a chair and just write something — anything — every day.

Well, the last one was my annoying failure.

It was bad enough if it’s just a cameo. But it turns out to be a regular in a show called “oh my disappointing life”.

This failure — sounds dramatic but it is — has many consequences:

I’d always need to start from the beginning. 

All I’ve learned will be forgotten. 

I will have to learn them again — like photoshop and video editing programs

I never see any real progress, any resonance — like with writing online.

Even with reading, I make the same mistakes again and again. I pick up a book, read some pages, and then forget about it. The next time when I want to read it again, I will need to start from the beginning, since I have already forgotten everything I’ve read in the first few pages.

It’s the same as doing sport.

I start. I go running for two weeks. Each day I run a bit better: for the same distance I feel comfortable day by day. Then it rains for three days. And then I stop running for like three months. 

When I start running again after three months, I am back from where I started at the very beginning.

Wow. This “no consistency” thing appears to be the explanation for many failures in my life.

I’m doing the “no consistency” thing pretty consistently.


Maybe calling them “failures” is a bit harsh for some people. But no consistency in anything did cause me many possible, better results in life.

Perhaps a real writing career.

Perhaps a healthier body.

Perhaps a good career as a videographer.

Maybe the ability to speak better Spanish. (After 5 years of gap, I’m confident that I’ve forgotten almost everything I’ve learned…)

This post. This terribly written, everything-is-messy piece, is my today’s little step continuing the consistency I’m carefully re-building.

It’s shitty. Yes. But I’m doing it anyway and I’m posting it. 

I’m following a non-zero progress principle in my life. 

The current non-zero progress principle applies to writing. All the other things can wait.