Babies and adults

Babies can cry as if it’s the end of the world, and one minute later laugh like the horror from before never happened.

I love how present they are.

Babies can react to the things around them with minimum filtering. They keep learning social codes; but they also instinctively keep their feelings transparent.

I love how frank they are.

Babies laugh when they want to, cry when they need to, they show their needs and make a mess.

I love how free they are.

Babies don’t miss yesterday and don’t worry about tomorrow. They don’t hold a grudge if you fed them 5 minutes later than they expected.

Because they can’t remember much of the details, and they don’t know how to expect for things in the future. (They are doing a little of these things and they are learning…)

There are so much to learn from the babies. I’ve been learning plenty in the last few weeks.

But there are something I also love which they don’t have yet.

They don’t know it yet, that the sweets taste the sweetest after bitterness, and the bitterness can also be charming and memorable.

They don’t know it yet, that the relaxation after a stressful situation is much more pleasant compared to doing nothing all the time.

They don’t know it yet, that the important and good memories staying in their brains will surface and stir up warm and fuzzy feelings again, whenever they need a pickup on a rainy day.

They don’t know it yet, that the joy they will have from looking forward to something that will take place — what the Germans call “Vorfreude” — is something people cannot live without.

So much to learn from my baby. But being an adult is not that bad either.


What do you deserve?

One question for you: what do you think defines your value?

First, think about a situation where you can say “I deserve XXX.”

And then ask yourself, what do you have, and how much, that makes you deserve XXX?

It’s hard to evaluate oneself for some people. Because it’s about self-knowing and confidence. And whether they match.

For most of us, what we know about ourselves doesn’t match the confidence we allow us to have.

The kind of self-knowing should come from self-awareness and constant self-reflection. Otherwise narcissists and people with very low self-esteem can also call themselves self-knowing.

Your self-value is completely subjective. Even if you think you deserve a promotion but don’t get it, it can only mean that the people who made that decision evaluated you differently than how you see it. It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve that promotion.

This is the season to give each other gifts (sometimes also ask for gifts from each other). Sometimes we get good surprises and sometimes a bit disappointment.

You can try to be moderately happy either way. And don’t think too much about it. Because how you think about those gifts from others doesn’t say much about how their relationships are with you.

It says how your relationship is with yourself. Your self-given value.

So, how much value do you give yourself?

What do you think you deserve on this Christmas?