One question for you: what do you think defines your value?
First, think about a situation where you can say “I deserve XXX.”
And then ask yourself, what do you have, and how much, that makes you deserve XXX?
It’s hard to evaluate oneself for some people. Because it’s about self-knowing and confidence. And whether they match.
For most of us, what we know about ourselves doesn’t match the confidence we allow us to have.
The kind of self-knowing should come from self-awareness and constant self-reflection. Otherwise narcissists and people with very low self-esteem can also call themselves self-knowing.
Your self-value is completely subjective. Even if you think you deserve a promotion but don’t get it, it can only mean that the people who made that decision evaluated you differently than how you see it. It doesn’t mean you don’t deserve that promotion.
This is the season to give each other gifts (sometimes also ask for gifts from each other). Sometimes we get good surprises and sometimes a bit disappointment.
You can try to be moderately happy either way. And don’t think too much about it. Because how you think about those gifts from others doesn’t say much about how their relationships are with you.
It says how your relationship is with yourself. Your self-given value.
So, how much value do you give yourself?
What do you think you deserve on this Christmas?