Don’t postpone living

We think that we need a change of scenery, for some reason. 

I didn’t grow up with the idea of “going on holidays”. Being away to travel was a luxury. It’s a luxury to take time off, to go somewhere else and look at some touristy stuff, to not be working. 

My mother didn’t get the chance to do any of that.

For her, “the good life awaits in the future”. That was her life motto. But she never thought she had to leave before that future.

Just right before that future.

She wasn’t suffering in her working day-to-day. But she postponed joy. Actively avoided it. She had to rationalise the things she enjoyed, as if she used it more today there won’t be enough for her tomorrow, or next year, or ten years later. 

Now I’m here. On my second holiday away with my husband and baby daughter, I keep thinking about my mom. How she thought her life could finally start when she retired and when I start to make a living by myself. 

She didn’t get to see much of the world. She thought she didn’t have the choice, or the control.

She never went traveling alone. She was afraid of being alone. But in the end, she had to leave alone. Like we all will.

But the best ones always leave early.

Thanks to my parents, I started traveling by myself early in life. And I don’t plan to stop, even though now I will take care of a baby full-time. 

I will travel the world with her. And tell her that life has hope for the future, but is happening right now.

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