Drifting back here again, after hearing the call to reach out to you. Not that you’d see, or hear, or care.

During the time when I disappeared, I was giving yoga classes, and writing some small pieces of stories. Since last November, I’ve been working on my first novel. Now 60,000 words later, I’m still on the way to making it into something it wants to be.

Currently I’m in a novel writing class, being with a group of writers like me, writing everything that we felt is the calling for us to give, and make. The result is of course important, but the act of actually doing it, of making it into reality, is the courage we all share.

Creating something, especially writing, can be a lonely thing to do. Most of us need the solitude to do it, but we don’t need to feel that we are alone. That’s the most I’m getting out of this programme now. This writing programme that makes me feel safe in my own void.

I’m not a fan of performing to be a creative – strictly speaking for myself. I don’t want to pose to be a writer. I’d rather be creating than showing that I am creating something. That was the reason to stay quiet even in the internet space.

That’s why I chose to disappear from the internet, after trying blogging to an echoless void, spending hours making social media videos ‘recording’ what I was doing every day. Me creating something didn’t feel like making something, but performing to make something for others to see.

It’s not wrong, I know. But it also didn’t feel right. So I retrieved.

My work and life are still chaotic. The quietness is back but I’m lost in the void of solitude. Once a while I know this is not the way to do my work, for I need the act of reaching out, even though nothing there is to be reached.

So here I am again.

I need this space to record my work process, the thoughts in life. I find I still have so much I want to do but too little time and space to do them. Some adjustments are needed. I’m trying to figure out what and how.

Time to do a little planning for this from now on, realistic planning.

I will continue to share everything I’ve learned and thought of the topic ‘creativity’.

I will share books I read.

My work process – currently my work-in-progress novel.

Life snippets: living overseas, life as a writer/mom.

I won’t push myself to be no here every day, but I will post, sometimes more, sometimes less. It’s not a digital diary, but a record of some kind.

As a writer, I know the importance of creating in solidarity. I can get that by not showing up online.

But I also know that I want connections. That’s why I became a yoga teacher. Harnessing the body with the mind, and vice versa, helps me to center myself. Teaching in front of a class of real people makes the connection even stronger – we connect with each other, after connecting with ourselves.

So here is another space where I’m building connections, spreading my thoughts in the forms of words and sometimes voice out in the universe, waiting it to land on you.

Perhaps there will be echo.